20a. Follow Me

Ever hear a song on the radio and think, “Oh my God!   That is soooooo me!”  Well that is how I feel about Uncle Kracker’s song “Follow Me.”  Post 20 will be explored in a mini-series where I explain how the lyrics of “Follow Me” came to perfectly describe my feelings for Fred.

Follow Me lyrics
Songwriters: Shafer, Matthew; Bradford, Michael;

You don’t know how you met me, you don’t know why
You can’t turn around and say good-bye
All you know is when I’m with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea, I’m singing

When I hear this song, I hear Fred’s words coming to life.  We met so unexpectedly, in such impossible circumstances, it was like a dream.  I know what led me to him that night so many years ago, but how it happened is still a mystery.  One moment I was rejecting him, and the next I was falling into his words as he spoke in his sexy french accent.  I could possibly list about a hundred reasons why it was that night that was so perfect for us to meet, but in the end none of them can explain what drew me to him.  And none of them can explain what made me want to stay with him for five hours, five years, five decades.  Every time I would want to say good-bye to him — to simplify my life —  something always pulled me back to him.

And it was because he represented freedom to me that I had such a hard time tearing away from him.  He was everything my life wasn’t.  There I was, a shy, proper Korean-American suburban girl playing the the part of the good little Miss Nice Student, trying not to disappoint her parents, but always feeling that she could never live up to their expectations.  And next to me was a man who had defied being trapped into a role, who did what he pleased despite all the forces that tried to tame him.  The war couldn’t hold him, medical school couldn’t free him, Montreal couldn’t please him.  But he was there, offering me a taste of the world that I thought would always be forbidden to me.  He was a drug that swam through my veins pumping life into my existence, and laying the seeds of addiction in my heart.  I couldn’t get enough of him.  Hours flew away like seconds as he embraced me … embraced me for the person I never knew I could be.

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