The next verse of “Follow Me” by Uncle Kracker, and how it is THE song that sums up my relationship with my international man of mystery…
I’m not worried ’bout the ring you wear
‘Cause as long as no one knows then nobody can care
Your feelin’ guilty and I’m well aware
But you don’t look ashamed and baby I’m not scared, I’m singing
Okay, I know this may sound like stretch — how can I relate to Uncle Kracker bedding an adulturous married woman? But bear with me…
I married Fred. Yes, I know you know, but just listen.
I married Fred in secret. I married Fred when I was a student, against the screaming outcries of all the book smarts, street smarts, life smarts, and smarty smarts that I had acquired in my life. Not to mention vehement family objections.
And that is not all. We kept that secret. We kept that secret not for weeks or months, but for years! And it worked for us. We didn’t need validation from the outside world that we were committed to each other forever — it was only important between the two of us. And as long as no one knew that we were married, no one could talk us out of it, no one could make us feel guilty, no one could stain the love that we knew we had for one another.
But of course I felt guilty. My mother had been dreaming about my wedding dress since I was in her womb. As a young woman she went to seamstress school to support her family, but also because she dreamed of making dresses for her daughter. She matured into a highly skilled custom-made dress and gown maker, and every time she would make a wedding dress, she would envision one day making mine. So, yes. I felt guilty. But not ashamed. I have never been ashamed of my relationshipi with Fred, and I never will. I am proud to be with a man who looks at me with love every time he sees me; a man that looks at me and only sees beauty; a man that looks at we with pride and confidence; a man that looks at his children and sees the love of his wife.
And every time he looks at me that way, I look at him back with an equal amount of love and respect. And no matter what kind of hardships we had to endure, if we had each other’s support, we could look out to the world with courage running through our veins.